Guard Your Joy

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Joy isn’t fragile, but it is targeted. When you step into a moment with energy, focus, and belief, the world often sends a critic to test your resolve. This episode centers on the “joy thief” mindset: people who downplay wins, nitpick effort, and turn a bright room dim. Coach Mikki shares a sideline story where a defensive lineman made the game-changing interception, only to be met with criticism instead of celebration. The point isn’t the play; it’s the pattern. When joy is present, momentum swings your way. When negativity intrudes, momentum stalls. Recognizing this shift is the first skill. Naming it fast is the second. Then you can protect the rhythm that gets you moving forward again.

Why do joy thieves act this way? Sometimes it’s habit, sometimes pain, sometimes envy masked as “standards.” The psychology is familiar: when people feel stuck, they try to slow others to match their pace. You can show empathy without accepting the drain. It helps to separate intention from impact, but still address the impact. Set a mental boundary: not every comment requires a reply, not every mood deserves a meeting. Energy management is a performance skill. Critique can sharpen you, but only when it is timely, respectful, and actionable. Shame and sniping do the opposite; they shrink the player and stall the team.

Joy functions like an internal engine. It clears thinking, sharpens reaction time, and improves connection with others. That’s why Coach calls it momentum, not mood. A joyful athlete trusts their preparation and plays free. A joyful leader recognizes effort, names progress, and celebrates specific behaviors they want repeated. If you want more of something, reward it. If you want to fix something, address it privately with clarity and care. This isn’t soft; it’s strategic. People rise to the tone you set. When the standard is high and the culture is joyful, you get intensity with balance—edge without ego.

Tactics matter. Decline drama by not attending every argument you’re invited to. Raise the energy: thank the person for the effort you value, then redirect with a single actionable cue. Build a “force field” ritual to preserve focus—before games, meetings, or creative work, name what stays outside the boundary for the next hour. Use short mantras like “here and now” to return attention to the play in front of you. Keep a gratitude list tied to performance—three specifics you appreciate about teammates, staff, or progress. Gratitude doesn’t erase problems; it stops negativity from defining the narrative. From there, you can fix what needs fixing without losing your spark.

Finally, protect what matters: joy, peace, and potential. That means curating your circle, limiting exposure to chronic critics, and setting clear consequences for culture-breakers. Leaders sometimes need to cut a distraction to protect the team standard. You can still be compassionate while being firm. Choose joy daily—on purpose, not by accident. Anchor it with routines, language, and people who lift you. When you know your abilities and honor your preparation, you become hard to shake. Wins won’t make you arrogant, and setbacks won’t make you small. You’ll start strong, finish strong, and dominate everything  in between. - Coach Mikki